Tag Archive: family.

2015 In Review

2015 In Review

It doesn't seem that long ago that I wrote up my 2014 list - but it's obviously far enough in the past that I don't really remember what I was trying to achieve this year, but it's worth a review - even if we are already six weeks into the new year!

The big stuff in my life in 2014 - death, birth, and home renovations - were, relatively speaking, out of mind in 2015. I had no big personal or career changes, but lots of little things.

Here's my notes to my future self on what I did in 2015, and what I want to do in 2016. None of the following is overly exciting, but I want them recorded for my own future reference.

General stuff

  • Got out in the Campervan. Not as much as we wanted, but spent a total of 14 nights away from home in it. Installed a water pump so we have water without manually pumping like the dark ages. Included two trips of 4 nights each, completely off-grid, without drama.
  • Pilates has kept me away from the physiotherapist - except for when I busted my knee over-training for the half marathon
  • Built a bigger vegetable patch and got some chickens.
  • Bought a 4x4 to tow our campervan - does a much better job than my Subaru!

Kids

Gosh they change quickly, every week brings Below are a couple of stand-out memories for me from the past year:

  • Watched our 3 (now 4) year old move into swimming lessons by himself rather than swimming with Lauren or I. Incredibly satisfying to watch him swim laps of the little swim school pool
  • Played video games (on a TV, rather than his iPad educational stuff) with Mr 4 and had a ball. Super Nintendo classics from my childhood (on my original SNES console, not an emulator!) including Donkey Kong Country and Mario Kart as well as Apple TV newcomers like Crossy Road were a real hit.

Running

Professional

Since mid-2014 I've been entrenched in two of Melbourne's horse racing clubs working on CRM projects for managing their members and raceday events. It's been interesting, but I'd be lying if I didn't look forward to a project in a new industry.

Both of those clubs "went live" with their new CRM systems with relative success, and both provided their own challenges: most of our projects tend to be back-office systems that don't directly interact with the public at large, so having the pressure of thousands of members of the public trying to scan tickets into a racecourse was a new experience for me.

Due to re-prioritisation of my time I've done pretty much no open-source work, nor have I spent much time on WhisperGifts. Both continue to tick along.

2015 Goals

Based on what I hoped at this time last year I've done OK, but missed a couple of targets.

  • Run twice a week, including three parkruns a month: I ran 90 days in 2015 (including an 11-day streak in December), so not quite twice a week. I've also only done 9 parkruns, not even once a month. I think my overall running is acceptable, though.
  • Complete a 10km run. Smashed it, multiple times - and then went on to run 21.1km!
  • Spend 30 nights in the Campervan, including 5+ nights off the grid in one trip We did half of these nights - and two 4-nighters. Needs work.
  • Meditate Daily, or at least twice a week. Fail. Didn't meditate even once.

2016 goals

  • Spend much, much more time with my wife and kids.
  • Build another vegetable patch, and finish re-landscaping the front yard
  • Continue running.
    • Finish three half-marathons, with at least one under 1:40:00.
    • Get my 10K pace to below 50 minutes (hopefully this "just happens" by focussing on the 21.1k distance)
    • Great Ocean Road half marathon, Run Melbourne Half Marathon, and Melbourne Marathon Half Marathon events are on my calendar.
  • Spend 30+ nights in the campervan, most of them off-grid, with a 5+ night off-grid trip

Photo: Morning mist at Sheepyard Flat campground, in October 2015

2014 In Review

What a year 2014 was. I know we're already a week into the new year, but there's a few things I wanted to list out - however terse some items are - so at least I can tell in the future what happened, when.

I won't go into details for most of these items, but it's safe to say I had a busy year.

Personal

  • In March, our second son was born. At four, our family is now complete.
  • Spent much of the early part of 2014 coming to grips with the loss of my father
  • On the last day of 2014, my uncle lost his battle with brain cancer.
  • Bought a Campervan, and enjoyed a bunch of fun trips away with my family. It's like camping, but with a fridge.
  • Took up running and improved my 5K time from almost 7 minutes per Km to around 5:25 per Km. We have a parkrun near home which I've only managed to get to once. I entered my first big event, the Run Melbourne and had a very respectible 5km time.
  • Did a better job with my diet and dropped 5 kilograms and two inches off my waist.
  • Renovated our house and made it a much nicer place for us to spend time
    • Replaced the entire kitchen, plus laundry cabinets
    • Re-tiled the floor
    • Painted everywhere
    • Block-out blinds to all bedrooms
    • Other minor stuff
  • Became Zoo Members and visited on two consecutive Christmases
  • Built my first Lego kit with my eldest son (he loves Duplo, and got some Lego for Christmas. His 3 year old patience isn't quite ready yet)
  • Tried meditating a bunch of times, particularly when I was struggling with various issues. It was peaceful and satisfying, and I'm not sure why I haven't done it more.
  • Took up Pilates to help deal with ongoing back pain. It's working bloody well.

Professional

2014 was a good year for projects at work. I've been fully booked and had a couple of nice milestones.

My day job is going well and I'm really enjoying it. Client relationships are better than previously and I'm getting really good feedback. That really makes work more enjoyable!

  • January: Completed a large project; the first I'd been pretty much solely responsible for from start to finish.
  • Mid-year: Worked with a large Charity, again solo from start to finish.
  • Since July: Things are going very well with one of Melbourne's racing clubs. The client is very happy and my co-workers have been fantastic, although being on-site by myself gets lonely after a while.

Work outside "work" was quiet this year and wasn't a major focus of mine. My open source contributions are way down, but projects like django-helpdesk continue to get good community input.

WhisperGifts is doing well. We've done some minor redesign work and added nice new features. It isn't making me rich, but people get real value from it and I see more paid users than free users (excluding those who sign up for free but don't go on to use it)

2015?

Right now my 2015 goals are relatively simple. The work on our house is pretty much complete and I need to spend more time with my kids and focusing on my mental and physical health. So I have just four things I will push hard to achieve:

  • Get back into running. At least 2 runs a week, including a 5K Parkrun at least three Saturdays a month.
  • Complete a 10km run.
  • Spend at least 30 nights away from home in the Campervan, including a trip with 5+ nights off the grid.
  • Meditate. Daily would be nice but I'll be very happy with 10 minutes twice a week.

I'm excited. Early 2014 was somewhat tumultuous, but things have settled down now and I'm ready for a happy and peaceful year ahead.

Eulogy for my father

Three weeks ago, on September 4th, my father Phillip Harry Poulton passed away at age 58 after a brief battle with cancer of the gall bladder. The toughest thing I've ever done was read part of his eulogy along with my siblings, mum, and Dad's friends.

I'm very proud of my Dad, and I'm happy with the stories about my time with him that I was able to squeeze into the few short minutes that I spoke.

Below is one of my earlier drafts, which has more detail than what I read at his funeral on September 11th 2013. At the bottom is a video that was recorded - I've included this for friends and family who weren't able to make the service - I assume it isn't fascinating viewing for anybody else.

A number of newspaper notices were placed for my Dad, from friends, family, and his colleagues. You can read tributes to Phil Poulton on the Herald Sun website.

Like most people, I learned a heck of a lot from my Dad. Chatting to my siblings it was clear that we all saw Dad in much the same way - he was genuine to everybody he met, and didn't filter his personality to suit the audience.

Dad married my mother, his first wife, and they renovated their home together in Ringwood. I was their eldest child, but not their first pregnancy - Dad helped mum through a miscarriage in an earlier pregnancy, setting the scene for the strong role he'd play for the rest of his family life. The fernery in their Ringwood home was expanded as a small memorial for their unborn baby.

We moved to Mitcham before I started school, into a house that was continually being worked on.

Before Benn started school, Mum and Dad showed us the world. We moved temporarily to the UK for a working holiday, to a small town outside Cambridge called Royston. My memories are foggy but fond, and seemed to involve more time driving our little Ford hatchback around Europe than we did at school or work.

Whilst in Royston, Mum discovered a lump - she was diagnosed with breast cancer. The UK jaunt was cut short, and we returned home for treatment.

In 1992, Mum passed away. Benn was 6, and I was 9.

When I look back on my hero father, it's from this point forward that he really deserved that badge. He was a widowed father of two young boys, working full time, running regularly, but he couldn't cook to save himself. For a short while, Benn and my diet consisted of sausages in bread and "fruit cake" - but I use both words loosely. Sue recently reminded me of the recipe, which was a grand total of 5 ingredients: flour, bran, milk, dried fruit, and sugar. You'll notice a distinct lack of eggs.

Apparently such a loaf is fantastic for endurance runners, but Benn was lucky enough to get one for his birthday one year. It seems to be one of the few things for which he hasn't forgiven Dad.

Even through this grief, the accountant in Dad kicked in. Although he was working hard at Heritage Seeds, and trying to keep up with Benn and I, Dad made sure mum's teachers superannuation was shared between Benn and I - a forethought that gave both of us a huge help to buy our first homes.

Alice and Bill, my maternal grandparents, were and still are a huge part of our lives. They often lived with us, and us with them. Dad still called grandpa "Dad", even though there they were inlaws.

A while after Mum died, new neighbours moved in, so Dad went over to introduce himself to the lovely blonde who had started making a new home with her two kids.

My memory is hazy, but I'm told that it was Ben and Benn who became great friends and knocked a hole in the fence. Something tells me that's only part of the story, since I doubt Dad would have let a primary school kid loose on his fence with a powersaw - but soon after, we were a regular fixture for dinner at Lesley's house.

I'm sure Dad would have hosted Lesley, Ben, and Tash for dinner, but he was trying to make an impression - and sausages and cake wasn't going to help his cause.

Soon after, we found ourselves living together as one family here in Eltham. Dad always seemed to have a love for Eltham, especially for places such as Montsalvat where we are today - lots of trees, lots of timber, and other eclectic building materials. Many of you will know of our first house in Eltham, a timber and mud brick house that was always being extended upon. This theme of always improving was one of the biggest that rubbed off on me, as evidenced by the number of half-finished jobs around home.

My time in Eltham was my true formative years: I started high school, made lifelong friends, and really got to know Dad's own lifelong friends. As time went on, I learned more and more about the world, much of it from Dad's viewpoint. I was learning from Dad until the day he passed away.

Dad got me my first job, doing work experience with the company who looked after the computers at Heritage Seeds. As a result, through a series of buyouts and cross-training, I've never had to interview for a new job - yet I've ended up working somewhere I love with a fantastic group of people.

We often spoke politics at the dinner table, although we rarely saw eye to eye. The weekly dinner table was where we bought our own growing families, to talk with and learn from Pa. It was also the scene for the infamous "Sonos Battles".

Us four kids had always considered Dad a bit of a ... let's just say he was an Accountant. Fads, trends, and new stuff wasn't his cup of tea, and as he held the cash we weren't likely to be sporting new video games or the latest Nikes.

When he moved to the new house at Wombat Drive, something seemed to change. Maybe it was because we weren't in his back pocket all the time, but suddenly there was a huge TV. Then two more, just in case.

The old record player was put on the nature strip, and a top of the range surround sound system found it's way into the living room, along with a remote-controlled music system.

It became a bit of a game at Sunday dinner to see who could choose a song that would actually get played through to the end. One of us kids would chose something contemporary, and we'd all happily hear the first half of the song. Dad would then decide that he'd like to hear Aretha Franklin, so he would pull out his phone and queue up an Aretha Franklin song. Well, he tried to - but every time, without fail, we ended up with the entire Aretha Franklin back catalogue, including live versions, cover songs, and interviews. And he didn't just queue them up to play after our one song - he stopped the song hard halfway through, and we'd hear the opening bars of "R.E.S.P.E.C.T", followed by her rendition, as lovely as it was, of "Bridge over Troubled Water".

Dad was a pretty non-technical person, who still did his banking with bits of paper. To watch a new guest arrive for the first time was amusing, as they tried to deal with Dad's excited demonstrations of wireless music selection. Who would have thought that after a life of collecting 8-tracks and then records, that he'd be most enthusiastic about music over the internet.

Watching him in the last few years I learned a few other useful lessons. It turns out, that a caravan cannot be too large. It also cannot have too many gadgets. Once the gadget-laden caravan arrives, there's no reason not to go out and buy more gadgets to go in it.

It turns out it's also OK to wear shorts. Dad was particularly rapt one night after going shopping on his way to running, having had a stranger at the supermarket yell out "Nice legs!".

Even when we landed in Nepal, our Sherpa guide, Lhakpa, asked with a concerned face, "Mr Phil, do you know you are in Lukla?". Dad was doing us proud, surrounded by the permanently ice-capped Himalayas - wearing his shorts.

Dad also taught us that coffee is a great way to catch up with friends and family. Meeting for Saturday coffee was as important as Sunday dinner, as Ollie sat on Pa's lap to eat his muffin while we slowly started our weekends. More recently, we'd started bumping into each other at the coffee shop before work. It was a nice coincidence that we started going out of our way to foster a few days a week, even if it was only a 2 minute chat while getting a take away coffee.

But above all, Dad was all about family and friends, tied together by music - and he used it to make us laugh at the saddest of times.

Last Wednesday afternoon, with friends and family sitting in the sun at home, we put on a playlist Dad had built called "Phil's Favourites". Of course the first 5 hours was everything the Rolling Stones have ever had a part in, but the music kept going, and going, and going. I guess that's the advantage to adding entire discographies to your playlist.

As the evening wore on, we knew what the outcome would be. With twenty of us surrounding Dad's bed in tears, we kept talking to him and listening to the music he queued up.

Then, some of the worst music interviewing I've heard came onto the stereo and filled the room. I have no idea who it was, or why an interview was even on Spotify, but his living room was filled with noise we didn't want to listen to. We reached for Dad's iPad, to try to get back to the music - but it refused to work for us. His horrid music management made us all laugh, both with him and at him, at a time when we should have been in tears.

Luckily we fixed the music, and soon after Elton John's "Candle in the Wind" came on. It was quite possibly the last music he ever heard.

The messages and support I've received from everybody around me has been simply amazing, for which I'm eternally grateful. Good friendships make tough times that little bit easier.

Dad's gall bladder cancer was rare and aggressive. In his memory, we've been raising some funds for the Forgotten Cancers Project at the Cancer Council of Victoria. More research into this cancer might help extend the lives of future patients, so that they may spend more time with their families than the three months we got with my dad.

More...

Want to see more? Check out the yearly archives below.